I’m back on YouTube! Finally! Because do things you’re a little not-ready-to-do yet. That’s how you grow and have breakthroughs. 🙂
Yesterday I did exactly that. I stopped tracking my calories to meet a MINIMUM of 2500+ calories per day. Yes. I eat that amount. Every day. For 5 months now. All restriction symptoms gone. Hormones, cycle, digestion, metabolism, sleep skills running on peak. I‘ve tracked my intake after months and years of unconscious chronic undereating (probably around 2000 – most women consider this a TON…). Due to parasitic infestation, food phobias and severe pain digesting. That chronic unintended calorie deficit had led my brain to become orthorexic and anorexic as a biological starvation response (we long know that this happens all the time with chronic dieting and that the cause of many mental eating disorders is PHYSICAL but no one talks about it…). Thought patterns from long ago when I was 14 somehow got reactivated again in the past couple years without me noticing. Because I couldn’t digest and handle what I ingested for a long time. A calorie deficit caused me to relapse into an anorexic state of mind and I’ve been recovering full gas for 5 months now. I’m so empowered by knowledge and insights that I’m gonna share. Dieting, restriction, slow or „damaged“ metabolism, eating disorder, anorexia, leaky gut/immune/hormonal issues… if any of this robs your life – let’s get you your life back. You definitely will highly benefit from the content I’ll put on my YouTube channel. Hop over and see you there! 🙂 Especially if you wonder about tracking vs. intuitive eating in recovery – that’s my new video.
So why did track calories in the first place and why did I stop? Tracking is disordered, Miri! Well, yes and no. Intuitive eating will NOT work for anyone with a dieting mindset or an eating disorder. As we tend to overthink and be far too mindful and extreme about anything. An objective measurement to re-learn and retrain hunger and satiety signals again is crucial for recovery and nutritional rehabilitation. You CAN’T be eating intuitively with the fear of eating over a „certain calorie goal“, eating certain foods, weight gain – you’ll ALWAYS play it safe and tend to eat less than more. Don’t kid yourself. Temporarily tracking for a minimum is NOT disordered but often necessary. In fact, it can be incredibly healing. It was for me. To actually really comprehend how freaking much my body needs to reuptake, reinitiate, maintain and optimize its functions. The disorders we might have done to restrict we now use for the opposite, for recovery purposes. Without restriction. Not letting our food intake be determined by the numbers. Always doing the opposite of what the dieting or eating disorder voices tell you… The goal is, when you can trust your body’s signals again and it can trust you again (takes a while after chronic starvation!), to let go of all control. And surrender. And then eat intuitively – but in a MINDLESS non-overthinking way.
My symptoms went away within one week only. (!) I know now how much it takes this girl to maintain her period and digestion (see you never again constipation). You can eat intuitively again when you don’t have any maximum calorie target, when all that possibly bothers you is a MINIMUM. It takes brutal honesty from yourself to yourself. Don’t kid yourself. It’s easy. I knew I would get there and I had to understand that it’s not wrong but the only right thing for me to track for a while to relearn normal eating while making sure I eat more than enough. Didn’t have any major physical changes to my surprise! But even with that – tracking can only be right for you when you don’t fool yourself and keep restricting in any way (aka don’t eat whatever you want whenever you want how much ever you want).
I’m using this platform privately AND for my business since I am not several persons and have nothing to hide. I’ll be posting about eating disorder topics and dieting, metabolism & restriction recovery a lot. Nothing taboo about that. Please be aware that the content I create is not what my private life revolves around. I just want to be the light for the darkness for others that I would have desperately needed myself.